We all know about Mr. Potato Head’s connection to Rhode Island, since he’s a creature of the now-departed Hasbro and was manufactured in Pawtucket.
Less known was our state’s oblique link to the enduring board game Monopoly, since it’s also owned by Hasbro.
Netflix recently announced that next year on its streaming network it will premiere a “Survivor”-type game in which contestants will vie for financial supremacy on a life-sized set reminiscent of Monopoly. The grand prize is $2 million, not in Monopoly money, but in genuine U.S. greenbacks.
Netflix urges potential contestants to apply now through its website, and this raises a dreadful possibility: Who is more likely to chase a whiff of millions than Donald J. Trump?
Imagination suggests that on standard Monopoly, contestant Trump would quickly rock the boat. To satisfy his penchant for war, he’d insist on the tiny battleship for his board token. Told the battleship is no longer used, and that the newer “Sack of Money” token was already spoken for, Trump would acquiesce, but, “Only if I can have the ducky.”
One can visualize Trump buying “Pennsylvania Avenue” and moving to put a resort on Number 1600. When he learns that won’t wash because there’s already a house there, he says he’ll settle for a ballroom. But he’s told houses and hotels are the limit in Monopoly.
Next, his ducky lands on “Marvin Gardens,” and he exclaims, “I’ll buy it.” His plan is to replace the gardens with stone. That worked well in the White House Rose Garden, he explains.
When his ducky hits “Chance,” Trump draws the “Get Out of Jail Free” card. This he slips into his pocket for future use when the true depth of his grifting is laid open.
When Trump lands on “Water Works,” he buys it. Suddenly, everyone’s tap water turns green.
Then, another potential problem. He lands on “Income Tax.” The levy is only $200, but he declines to pay, noting that his returns are now exempt from audit.
Then, a nightmare: His ducky hits “Boardwalk.” That’s where his Atlantic City casinos went belly up. This time, Trump declines to buy.
He also turns up his nose when he lands on “Mediterranean Avenue.” More Immigrants are the last things we need in this country, he mumbles.
Running low on Monopoly money, Trump strategizes: How can he avoid becoming a (gasp!) loser?
His idea is brilliant – he launches a rambling screed on how he won the 2020 election. With his competition quickly put to sleep by this twice-told fantasy, he helps himself to enough of their bankrolls to declare himself the winner.
According to Netflix, the point of its streaming game, like Monopoly’s, is that ‘One by one, bankrupt players will be eliminated while others build their empire – until the one person standing takes it all.”
In our imaginary game, Trump is that last player standing. As for the others?
Fleeced.
And I’ll wager Park Place with a hotel on it that in a word, there you have Donald J. Trump’s real-life game plan – for all of us.
Gerry Goldstein (gerryg76@verizon.net), a frequent contributor, is a retired Providence Journal editor and columnist.
