Dear Middletown Town Council,
Thank you so much for the tax break you are proposing. As one of the fortunate few Middletown residents who had the foresight (or was it just sheer dumb luck?) to purchase our homes years ago when real estate prices were reasonable and mortgage rates were at historic lows, I must say, my housing expenses are relatively stable. Unlike those unfortunate souls who can’t afford to buy a home and are condemned to the purgatory of renting, I can bask in the glory of predictable, manageable monthly mortgage payments.
Your proposal to tax rental properties 30% more than resident owned homes might strike some as draconian and unfair, but not me. No, I see the genius in it. I wholeheartedly welcome the resulting reduction in our taxes. After all, it’s high time that we, the true Islanders, reap more benefits from our prudent investments while those “non-resident” non-Islanders (aka: anyone that rents) shoulder a bit more of the burden. It is more than fair.
When you say you truly care about housing affordability and the crisis that people in Middletown and across the country are facing, we believe you. We really do. We believe you even as you propose measures that will undoubtedly increase the cost of housing. Costs that landlords will most certainly pass onto their tenants in the form of higher rents. It’s a brilliant move, really, shifting $2 Million in taxes from those that can afford it to those who can’t. By making housing MORE expensive, you’re bound to solve the affordability crisis in some roundabout, 4D-chess kind of way that most individuals including myself can’t quite comprehend. But we trust you.
So, thank you. Thank you for your unwavering dedication to our (homeowners) financial well-being instead of the unlucky renters of Middletown, otherwise known as “Non-Residents”. They should continue to pay more than their fair share. Your vision for a more affordable future—where only those of us who had the foresight to buy early benefit—is truly inspiring.
Sincerely,
Leon Amarant, “Resident”
P.S. Inspired by your fiscal brilliance I am officially announcing my candidacy for the Middletown Town Council
