Henry Fonda and his daughter Jane, after decades of estrangement, made up shortly before his death at age 77 in 1982.
Starting over after so many years was well worth it, Jane Fonda told an interviewer.
“Before he died I was able to tell him that I loved him and that I forgave him for, you know, whatever didn’t happen, and I hope that he would forgive me for not being a better daughter. I got to say that to him.”
She recalled that her stoic father, long emotionally distant, didn’t respond with words, “But he wept. I had never seen that before. I’d never seen my father break down and weep – it was powerful.”
Fonda continued, “What I’m really scared of is getting to the end of life with a lot of regrets when there’s no time to do anything about it.”
Poignant words, and to use a golfing term, you might say that in giving themselves that second chance the two actors took a “mulligan.”
As golfers know, a mulligan, if permitted by one’s partners in casual play, is a do-over without penalty after a bad shot – in other words, the erasing of a mistake.
If that idea appeals to you, you have encouragement on Oct. 17 to apply it to your own life, because that’s “National Mulligan Day “– a time to redo something that previously went wrong.
So, who was ”Mulligan” anyway?
Theories abound, with many centering on 1920s Canadian golfer David Bernard Mulligan, part owner of New York City’s Biltmore Hotel. He once messed up a shot and immediately did it over, declaring the second one didn’t count on his scorecard because it was simply a “correction.”
As for “National Mulligan Day,” that was created by the late C. Daniel Rhodes, an Alabama artist. He believed that wiping the slate clean, and giving a second chance to a goal or relationship, is within our grasp, if we take the opportunity.
Even our government once took a mulligan. The founding fathers, realizing that the initial Articles of Confederation contained many weaknesses, tried again and in 1789 the Constitution we have today took effect.
One website describes the spirit behind Mulligan Day as far transcending the fairway:
“It’s not just about improving your golf swing, it’s about improving your mindset. Whether you’ve made a tough business decision, strained a relationship, or faced failure head-on, this do-over day invites you to forgive yourself and try again.”
It continues, “The beauty of National Mulligan Day lies in its simplicity: It honors our humanity. We all stumble, miss our targets, and wish we could take another shot.”
The website Celebration Nation observes, “…in a society often focused on perfection, this day encourages a gentle approach to mistakes… Whether it’s a flubbed golf swing or a misstep in a personal relationship, the day invites everyone to take a moment to breathe, reset, and try again.”
It’s a time, and Jane Fonda would agree, to think long thoughts about what went wrong, and while there’s time and opportunity, to “take a mulligan” and make it right.
Gerry Goldstein (gerryg76@verizon.net), a frequent contributor, is a retired Providence Journal editor and columnist.
