Maya Angelou once wrote, “To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane it its perfect power.” Talk about a powerful woman raising a powerful daughter! But it was actually Maya’s paternal grandmother, Annie Henderson, that mostly raised Maya and her brother Bailey in Stamps, Arkansas after their parents’ divorce. In fact, it was Bailey – just one year older than Maya – who gave his famous sister her forever nickname, since he could not pronounce her given name, Marguerite (née Johnson). Bailey would refer to “mya sister” and the name stuck.
Growing up, as shared in her later interviews, Maya tells of a complicated relationship with her mother, but they reconciled later in life. Maya went on to become a single mother herself at the age of 17 when she gave birth to her son Guy Johnson and, by all accounts, the two had a very close bond. Guy often said he didn’t grow up in his mother’s shadow but rather was raised in her “light.”
Closer to Home: The State of Single Motherhood in the Ocean State
According to Rhode Island KIDS COUNT, approximately 1 in 3 children in the Ocean State are raised in a single-parent household and 80% of these households are led by mothers or grandmothers – a statistic that aligns with national trends. In the city of Newport, this percentage is surprisingly higher.
As reported in What’s Up Newp earlier this week, Newport has been recently classified as a “core city” due to the child poverty rate. Other Rhode Island cities where there is an inordinate amount of child poverty are listed as Central Falls, Pawtucket, Providence and Woonsocket.
In Newport, 37.1% are female-led households with no spouse or partner present, versus 24.8% that are male-led single parent houses. Startlingly – but a true harbinger of changing times and trends in modern American families – only 31% of all households in Newport are married-couple households. This female-headed household rate is more than twice the statewide norm.
It is important to note these statistics do not specifically factor in households with children under 18; they include retirees and women living alone. Many of these residents are grandmothers helping care for their grandchildren. Nationally, approximately two-thirds to three-quarters of custodial grandparents are grandmothers, and of these, about 40% live below the poverty line. This statistic equates to approximately 3,600 Rhode Island grandmothers are primary caregivers – also known as “kinship caregivers” – for children under 18.
In Newport County, the percentage is slightly lower: 26.2% of households have children under 18 and 10.2% of these are female-led households with no spouse or partner present. This disparity can be attributed to the affluence of the surrounding communities, and the fact that many households are headed by traditional married couples.
Single Mom Spotlight: When Life Hands You a Surprise Lemon, Single Moms Quickly Learn How to Make Lemonade
Local business owner and long-time Newport resident Gwendolyn Gardner experienced two major surprises shortly after turning 40. Within the same week she found out she was unexpectedly pregnant, she also learned she had breast cancer.
At the time, she was a teacher, a writer and a competitive ice skater. She also had nurtured a strong support network of friends, family and supporters – whom she calls a “village of helpers” – to support her through both life-changing events.
Gwen’s daughter is now 21 and thriving.
“I corralled grandmothers, aunties, uncles, and friends to help me,” Gwen recalls. “Uncle Ed and Aunt Maggie helped in early mornings when I had ice skating practice. Then, I got creative with a couple of friends. We provided day care to each other. We each took one day, so that we could work two days…and we each cared for the three little ones one day a week.”
Gwen is an artisan and the founder of Simply Chickie Clothing, 100% organic cotton clothing line she designs for infants, toddlers. Recently she has expanded into ultra-soft clothing products for adults. She was inspired to create the collection because she only wanted to clothe her newborn daughter in soft, sustainable fabrics. So, she set to work to make lemonade out of 100% cotton and build a sustainable business that would also allow her to have quality time with her daughter.
Recalling those early Mother’s Days, Gwen shared, “I’ve always worked on Mother’s Day because there are typically many artisan events on Mother’s Day. During those years, my daughter lovingly prepared early morning breakfast for me, and one Mother’s Day she gave me a jar of all the reasons she loved me.”
When asked what advice she would share with other single mothers, Gwen reflected:
“I learned to be flexible and creative. In my daughter’s early life, she slept with me, so we both fell asleep reading 10 books a night. I think that’s why she’s such an amazing writer.”
She added, “She always did her homework at the kitchen bar while I made dinner in front of her so that I could answer any questions. I made sure I was present at all her school events and presentation projects. During her high school career, I applied to be the school’s assistant tennis coach, so I was there for her all her tennis practices and matches. I learned to be an early riser and night owl because I knew she wouldn’t remember if Mommy was tired, but she’d remember if Mom wasn’t there.”
Somehow single mothers seem to find the eye of the hurricane, through their families, friends, community resources, and an instinct for sharing love and nurturing others.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there, whether you are a mother to a human, a pet, a plant, or you’re nurturing a dream, you deserve your special day!
Sources: U.S. Census Bureau Data, Rhode Island Healthy Aging Data, Rhode Island Kids Count.
Michele Gallagher is an advocate of local businesses, community leaders, and non-profits and is the founder of City-by-the-Sea Communications.
